For her
by MrJane
Summary: A short story about a father and how he cope with the aftermath of some tragedy. Reviews are welcomed :)


I stared at the stars from the windows of my house, while ignoring everything else possible. Yes, my eyes were focused at the stars in the sky but my mind was far from it. It has been 5 months since she left me, left this world. My love, my wife, my guidance, my everything, my Temari...

My shirt was slightly pulled by someone behind me.

I don't care. Leave me be. Leave me...

"Daddy..."

Her voice stopped my gaze. I turned around and looked down at her green, crystal eyes.

" What, Lily ? " I gave her a half-hearted smile, looking at her eyes while she returned the smile back at me. " It's late. Go to sleep"

Lily, my seven year old daughter. Our daughter. She reminded me so much of Temari. Her eyes, her blonde hair, her attitude. The memory of my wife kept replaying itself on my mind when I look at Lily. It hurts. Yes it hurts. Knowing that the memory is just a memory, a proof of my undying love for my wife.

"Daddy, I hope you're not forgetting about Christmas tomorrow" She looked at me, smiling. "What do you want from Santa this year Daddy?"

"…." I'm at loss for words. "Just go to sleep honey"

Yes it is Christmas tomorrow. Yes there should be Christmas Eve dinner tonight. And yes, I don't give a damn about it.

"Okay daddy" Her smile faded. "Goodnight"

I watched her walked to her room with her teddy bear, Teddy, at her hands. A gift from his uncle, Kankurō. She held it tightly with her small arms. She stopped at the door with her eyes looked down on Teddy, in her grasp. As if she was waiting for something. Then she enter her room, without making a sound.

I took a step toward to my bedroom as well. Each steps seems so heavy and the heavier it gets when I reach the bed. Then, my view switched to the big mirror of the make-up table beside the bed. The one where Temari kept her lipsticks and other cosmetics. The one where she sat at the chair and making me crazy waiting for her make-up to be done for god knows how long. The one where I purposely giving her back hugs and kissed her red cheek from behind if it is taking her so long to finish. Which I don't mind at all…

I look at the reflection of the mirror. There, I saw a face of grief of a man. A face of a Nara Clan, whom have lost his queen. A face with messy beard that shows despair and pain.

When I looked down at the table, my gaze stopped at some photo edges behind a book. I picked the photo up while putting the book back. That is the photo of us three, the whole family, with me, Temari and Lily. Smiling happily. For Christmas…..

Temari was the one who always remind us about Christmas and where we should celebrate it. With her gone, celebrating Christmas will just be another day where I'll remembering her antiques, her nagging about going back to her village to celebrate with her brothers. Just another day where I remember about the delicious turkey that she cooked. Another day of remembering her beautiful smiles that genuinely meant for me. Her soft warm hug that made me in love with her more and more each day. The day she asked for my suggestion about what present to give for her brothers. Present for my mother. Present for Lily…

For Lily…

I put the photo inside the drawer and decided to say goodnight at Lily again before she went sleep. That's the least I can do for her after I decided to dismiss this Christmas, the Christmas Eve dinner, completely. Not that I don't know that Lily was really looking forward for this occasion. It's her favourite festive, and her mother's too…

I reached her room and stand in front of the door that have "LILY'S" sign hanged on it. I put my hand on the door knob and twisted it. I pushed the door silently, afraid of making any noises and wake Lily up, if she's already asleep.

I found her sleeping soundly on her bed, with her bright pink blanket covering her as she sleep. There was a desk beside her bed. A small brown desk which Temari chose as a furniture for baby Lily. Hoping that Lily will use it sooner or later. A piece of paper on the desk caught my attention. I picked it up and sat on the edge her bed, soft and soundly and try not to make a sound that can wake her up. It's a letter, formed by Lily's own handwriting with many correction of spelling mistakes.….

" _Dear Santa,_

_I never write to you, right? But this time is different. I need your help Santa. I need your gift, your present._

_You may think that I want mommy back, but you're wrong Santa. I knew that mommy can never come back to our family. Grandma has told me everything. Grandma told me mommy is in a better place. Grandma told me mommy will be sad if I'm sad. Grandma said she loved me so much and don't want to see me sad either. I want to stop crying and make mommy happy at her new place. And make grandma happy too. And make daddy happy too…._

_There are some times when I thought that I am the one who should go, not mommy. _

_Mommy can make daddy eat his breakfast. I couldn't._

_Mommy can make daddy a good pancake. I couldn't_

_Mommy can make daddy smiling. I couldn't._

_Mommy can make daddy happy, I couldn't._

_I couldn't. _

_I couldn't._

_There's only one thing I want from you Santa. I want to see daddy smiles again. I want to see daddy laughing again with uncle Naruto and uncle Choji again. I want to see daddy's eyes glowing with happiness after going fishing with uncle Gaara again. I want to see the old daddy, the one before mommy's death._

_I just want daddy to be happy again, Santa._

_That's all I want…. _

_Please…_

_ Your Love,_

_ LILY "_

My mind went blank. As if I'm not here right now. I felt like my body is floating in the air, in the unknown land. Tears rolled down my cheeks. And it fell on the letters. Drop by drop. My teardrops on the words that formed genuinely by her heart. My daughter's heart. My daughter's feeling. My daughter's pain. A bigger pain than mine. The pain in my heart that I thought no one can ever understand, can't quite compared with my daughter's. She's been hurt so badly by the loss of her mother. And I didn't even realized that.

Not only had she lost her mother. She lost her father too. She lost me. While I lose the woman I called my wife, Lily lose the women she called mommy. The mommy that she has known her entire life. The mommy that have her back no matter what. The mommy that will do anything to bring a happiness and a smile on Lily's face. The mommy that loved her from the bottom of her heart.

The letter fell from my hand to the ground. My eyes soaked with tears and red with anger. Anger at myself. Anger from what have I done to my daughter..

"Daddy? " Lily's voice struck my ears.

I saw Lily's face as I turned to look at her. Is she crying too?

I look into her eyes while my eyes were still wet from the tears. And I smiled at her, with tears still running down on my cheeks.

"You happy now? "

She smiled back at me and give me a big hug. A sincere hug from my only daughter. And I can hear her soft voice. Almost as she doesn't want me to hear it.

"Thank you, Santa…. "

"Goodnight, Lily" I wished her a goodnight and stayed there until she was finally sleeping again before I return to my room.

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I've been expecting some guest this morning, and I am not even sure if they will come, after 5 month of me isolating myself from them….

_Ding Dong_

I walked to the door. Just right after I opened it, one yellow headed man hugged me.

"I'm so glad you called me yesterday, Shikamaru " He said. "You know that the Hokage's office is not the same without my advisor, right?"

The village head, the hokage, came by to my house. And he was not coming as a hokage. But he came as a friend. A concerned friend.

"You come alone?" I asked while looking is there anyone behind him. No one. " Where's your wife and kids? "

"Hinata and the kids will come by later. Got something to do at her clan house." He responded while casually invited himself into the house and sat on the sofa.

Before I even managed to join him at the sofa another person arrived at my doorstep.

"Mom.." I murmured while looking at her soft, tender eyes. "Thanks for coming. I'm sorry for everything mom…"

Before I even finished, mom hugged me with a nice warm hug. A hug with love for her only son. A hug that she used to give me when I'm sad or in despair. A hug that I really need right now.

"I'll do anything for my son and my grandchild to be happy again"

I smiled at her to express my feeling, how grateful I am for her being here. As I lead her to the living room, several other friends arrived.

My best friend, Choji, followed by Ino 5 minutes later.

My brother-in-laws, Gaara and Kankurō, who were currently in town. They said that they worried about me and Lily.

And several other friends that I care about.

It felt so good to be with them again….

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After a while, Lily woke up from her sleep. And went out from her room. I can only imagine her happiness when he saw all of us, working together, preparing our house for Christmas.

"We don't have a Christmas' Eve dinner yesterday. So I figured to have them all here and having a Christmas Lunch for this Christmas. What do you say? " I said to her while giving her a smile. A sincere smile from her father to her daughter.

Lily's expression was priceless. She looked around looking confused at first. Where he saw his favourite uncle Gaara doing the decoration on a big Christmas tree. The head village whom she called uncle Naruto, trying to take a bite of the roasted turkey and got hit on the head by grandma. Her eyes suddenly became wet. Tears of joy started to flow down her face as she ran towards me while I open both my arms to welcome her. At that time, I started thinking about how thankful I am for having Lily in my life. Thank you, Temari, for our strong daughter….

"I love you, daddy" She murmured.

"I love you too, kiddo." I responded "I love you too… "


End file.
